Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
how do i describe this life? how do i tell you about what it feels like? how every second is like flying. yes the posing and snobbery is sickening, but shit like that comes with every youth culture. and i wanna just scream "they're only bikes for fuck sake, get over it!" but then they're not just bikes. they're a freedom. its just you out there. yeah trying not do die down broadway during rush hour while still racing a co-worker on a fixie to prove that the added 1/2lb of gears isn't all that much weight (ps- it so is), weaving trough hundreds of cars doesn't really make you feel all that alone.
it pisses me off how many of us die out there, or are maimed. it was awesome when ian's settlement came through and he bought us all dinner, but worth three weeks in a wheel chair? and he was so fucking lucky. tyler got pulled under a street sweeper in seattle. he fucking died. he was in a bike lane.
its pretty much an annual event of mine to hit a patch of ice and slide face first into an intersection. and the fucked up thing? i lie there thinking "don't hit my bike, don't hit my bike." and then after that you have to give her a quick once over and get back on the ol' girl and get your ass to work.
this is the one girl who will treat me right if i do well by her. i know it.
yes the posing, the stupid ass tricks, its dumb, agreed. but the softness, the speed, the absolute singularity you feel on a bike... its intense. its love.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
downside: if you listen to old videos she sounds pretty normal...voice wise. its in her later videos she starts sounding like a helium tank sucker. not quite sure what happened.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
so the most popular type of bar, or at least in my podunk town, is called an izikya. which is pretty traditional looking with wooden "booths" and separate rooms for more private parties. they serve small plates of food, which trick you into thinking youre not spending that much money. but you are, my god you are.
first venue. our usual place was PACKED and you have to have reservations because people sit at a table for hours. and there is no standing room, only tables. so the first place we went to was dead dead dead. and not very good food. we think the sushi was frozen and then thawed.
we finally got to the place i like. of course you can still smoke inside in japan so that kind of sucked because im always sick. the beer here is awful if you know anything about beer, but the glasses are huge! and seem endless. the photo below is what i saw a lot. and everyone was punished by non stop drunk texting. oh lord that was fun to reread in the morning. but everyone got their revenge on me by drunk texting me the next day. time drag is lame.
carnage over the cherry blossom flavoured ice cream. i ate some with chopsticks but not much because i was scared i was going to throw up any minute because everyone kept eating whole fish right in front of me.
the food at our izikya is great and love how much fried food i eat there. mostly potatoes and yams. sometimes its a dreamy place. sometimes it pisses the shit out of me and all i want to do is punch ignorant people in the face.
especially men who feel like the only great thing you can do in this world is to have kids and that when i get older i want kids. fuck that. ill make my own fucking choices. young or old.
enemy number one in the izikyas are the squat toilets. thank god ive been practicing peeing standing up, because damn...
Sunday, May 9, 2010
first off i have never been a huge fan of christina aguilera, i was a more of a no doubt girl when christina came into the pop world. but i cant deny the girl has an amazing voice. and when i saw all the promo shots of this video knew i had to get down with it no matter what. so lets watch:
so first up i cant stand the product placement. i want to have lady gaga's babies but i still hate all the product placement in her videos. i dont like that this video isnt really anything we havent seen before. but im still in love with it. not going to lie. the blinged out s&m shit is fucking hot and i want anything with a rhinestone crotch. the sex jewelry is also gorgeous looking and i think somewhat covert to people who aren't as obsessed with sex as they should be.
so im going to say i love this video and song, but mostly because i love this type of shit right now. probably wont be buying the album, and definitely not an aguilera convert, but ill watch this video like 8 more times today.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
im really excited for august though because greg's parents will be taking us to tokyo and i am flipping shit about it. they want to do kyoto and nara too. i think ill just peace out and stay in tokyo for the week. oh sweet tokyo ill do anything to see you. ANYTHING!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
so the xx use to play on repeat at urban. it was one of the few cds we had that didnt make me want to blow my brains out by the end of the day. but i never knew how fucking hot they were. maybe i should pay more attention to the internet.
i mean come on! hot. fucking hot.
Monday, April 26, 2010
i got what the japanese call the "boobie prize" for being the worst player. which was awesome because all thing boob related is awesome. it was a pink kick ball and a box of doughnuts. who knew sucking at all things pysical could pay off so well? i guess ill be continuing my life long losing streak in order for more boobies!
Friday, April 23, 2010
i loved the mixed version of this song. it would make me dance like a crazy person and apparently very badly. i could still feel the lyrics though, but damn in the acoustic version, its like a sucker punch. its actually a rather heart breaking song.
these ladies are pure loveliness. plus they play and tweet about scrabble so really what's not to like?
Thursday, April 22, 2010
this looks like satorialst work, but i could be wrong...
ellen paige as pattie smith. cute!
this makes me want french cuffs bad
i love how absolutely relaxed their stlye is. this is from kimberly gillett so not a work ap. link.
hands down who i want be.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
there are very good reasons i miss my friends and my denver. besides the bars and how everyone wore glasses. here are some of my favourite conversations with my friends:
"Wait, wait! What are you wearing?!"
"because i felt like being pretty. cant you just love the pretty me?"
"No. Go put some pants on, you're creeping the shit out of me."
"Sex to you is like shaking hands. You put a lot of effort into it but it's not like you're very exclusive."
"youve had one lesbian experience with one girl! it doesnt exactly make you the keynote speaker at the lezzie convention"
"You know you're a real ass sometimes."
"yeah yeah, get back to me once youve finger banged melissa in the library"
"woah! that was intense"
"That eye-fuck that just happened?"
"yeah. i dont think ive ever been eye-fucked!"
"Yes you have! How did we meet?"
"at a bar..."
"Yeah, after I eye-fucked the shit out of you."
"... can we always be friends?"
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
most the time i miss sitting in living rooms with 30 kids watching live shows. i miss kids that move, all they do is move.i miss kids that think breathe and live their own art. i miss my community. i miss my wonder. i miss my friends.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
im glad to be going though. this job is rather soul sucking and to be honest i just dont have the people skills for it.
"Could you get me another size?"
"for that dress that is hanging 7 feet from where you stand right now? come on!!"
"Do you work here?"
"not right now i dont"
"Can you help me?"
"sigh... i guess, whadda ya need?"
so tonight party time. saying goodbye to some awesome people. flip off the motherfuckers that made everyday here feel like high school.
ps- im so moving to japan. who wants to say goodbeye/ buy me a drink?!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
im always behind on pop culture, but this is amazing. is no one else concerned that this little boy lives with usher? and usher really? youre living with a little white boy?
plus little white boy looks real familiar and disturbingly like a girl i dated a few years back.
Monday, January 18, 2010
well nothing and lots.
holidays past with out too much flair. did almost set the kitchen on fire on christmas. that was kind of awesome.
threw a couple dinner parties. you know your party is fancy when you have two pony kegs in the kitchen (left over from the wedding...).
my sister had her baby!!! lilliana elise! how sweet is that?!?!
im quitting my job, finally!
including girl hitting on me, being rebuffed and then staring at me while making out with someone else. there are reasons i never dated many girls, cuz theyre fucking crazy. crazy.
"Hey, I've seen around."
"yeah... don't you come into urban a lot?"
"That wasn't me."
random girl quickly walks away.
seriously? all of them crazy.
greg finds the whole situation hilarious. sadly he isn't dealing with being ostracize by an entire community for marrying a man.
"So are you gay?"
i hold my hand up vertically and tip it back and forth
"It's an A or B answer."
"no, its not. its a C answer."
i dont know why that in my family i was the only one who agreed with my mother that sexuality is fluid. but its hard to practice that when in a culture, even in the gay one, that everything has to be so black and white, A or B. its hard enough trying to figure out who the fuck you are when even gay people don't believe in bi sexuality. its not "fence sitting" it not that simple or its very simple. its so human to categorize even when it seems we're all fighting from being put in a box. i just cant help who im attracted to. and i love the ambiguous questions people ask as they try to pin it down. mentioning being married puts people at ease, but, as my mom says "the dykie haircut", if off putting. gays feel that im tricking them or myself. there are reason ive only come out to very few people. first i feel like its pretty obvious, second no one believes in the C answer. well its my life. and its me. im not a supporter of the gay community, i am part of it.
so whats it about now? well i guess its about talking. sexuality is ambiguous and so personal, but im not going to let people feel that theyre freaks because theyre neither A or B. im tired of feeling like i have to adjust myself to swing certain ways at certain times in order for others to feel more comfortable.
these last couple of years have been about leaving an old life of pretend to figure out who i really am, but more than that its about coming to terms with who i am. so there you go.
i like girls
i like boys
im married to the greatest man in the world
im not straight (duh)