irate customer doing a return:
"If you just looked at the name on the card this wouldn't of happened!" adds hand gestures and facial expressions pretending to look at a card.
in my head: "if you didn't teach your daughter to be such a selfish bitch this wouldn't of happened"
folks we can't stop your children from stealing your credit cards and making crazy purchases on them. thats your job, dont fucking yell at us for your bad parenting.