you tube tuesday

well hello slow club. im glad youre now in my world.









most the time i miss sitting in living rooms with 30 kids watching live shows. i miss kids that move, all they do is move.i miss kids that think breathe and live their own art. i miss my community. i miss my wonder. i miss my friends.

you are

never working again!!

okay well thats not true...or really possible, but today is my last day at urban outfitters. my summer job that turned into three years of corporate slumming has finally come to an end. and i must say i am grateful, mostly for the fun-fetti cupcakes and chocolate cookies waiting for me! i also had a good laugh discovering that i was suppose to be at work at 9 and not 10.

im glad to be going though. this job is rather soul sucking and to be honest i just dont have the people skills for it.

"Could you get me another size?"
"for that dress that is hanging 7 feet from where you stand right now? come on!!"

"Do you work here?"
"not right now i dont"

"Can you help me?"
"sigh... i guess, whadda ya need?"

so tonight party time. saying goodbye to some awesome people. flip off the motherfuckers that made everyday here feel like high school.

ps- im so moving to japan. who wants to say goodbeye/ buy me a drink?!

who is this kid?

im always behind on pop culture, but this is amazing. is no one else concerned that this little boy lives with usher? and usher really? youre living with a little white boy?

plus little white boy looks real familiar and disturbingly like a girl i dated a few years back.

update

omg what the hell have i been doing?
well nothing and lots.
holidays past with out too much flair. did almost set the kitchen on fire on christmas. that was kind of awesome.
threw a couple dinner parties. you know your party is fancy when you have two pony kegs in the kitchen (left over from the wedding...).
my sister had her baby!!! lilliana elise! how sweet is that?!?!
im quitting my job, finally!
hilarious night.
yep.
including girl hitting on me, being rebuffed and then staring at me while making out with someone else. there are reasons i never dated many girls, cuz theyre fucking crazy. crazy.

"Hey, I've seen around."
"yeah... don't you come into urban a lot?"
"That wasn't me."
random girl quickly walks away.

seriously? all of them crazy.

greg finds the whole situation hilarious. sadly he isn't dealing with being ostracize by an entire community for marrying a man.

"So are you gay?"
i hold my hand up vertically and tip it back and forth
"It's an A or B answer."
"no, its not. its a C answer."

i dont know why that in my family i was the only one who agreed with my mother that sexuality is fluid. but its hard to practice that when in a culture, even in the gay one, that everything has to be so black and white, A or B. its hard enough trying to figure out who the fuck you are when even gay people don't believe in bi sexuality. its not "fence sitting" it not that simple or its very simple. its so human to categorize even when it seems we're all fighting from being put in a box. i just cant help who im attracted to. and i love the ambiguous questions people ask as they try to pin it down. mentioning being married puts people at ease, but, as my mom says "the dykie haircut", if off putting. gays feel that im tricking them or myself. there are reason ive only come out to very few people. first i feel like its pretty obvious, second no one believes in the C answer. well its my life. and its me. im not a supporter of the gay community, i am part of it.

so whats it about now? well i guess its about talking. sexuality is ambiguous and so personal, but im not going to let people feel that theyre freaks because theyre neither A or B. im tired of feeling like i have to adjust myself to swing certain ways at certain times in order for others to feel more comfortable.

these last couple of years have been about leaving an old life of pretend to figure out who i really am, but more than that its about coming to terms with who i am. so there you go.
i like girls
i like boys
im married to the greatest man in the world
im not straight (duh)

Listening to: Spekeasy Tiger (The Public)

Tracks: 1. I Was Born

3. Limbs

explode!

i feel like im on craft overload. from pickles to pumpkins to baby blankets heres my project list that might never get done:

baby quilt with 6 large hand embroidered squares
stack of oneies to be embroidered
stack of birth cloths to be embroidered
1/3 completed crocheted baby blanket
0% completed baby sweater
piles of veggies to be pickled
bags of pumpkin innards needing to be seeded and roasted
knit cap to replace the 2 of gregs i lost
baby booties
lemons waiting to be.... i dont know...im thinking i try marmalade...
softies for the baby made from left over quilt fabric
too late for summer dress
apron
kitchen embroidered tea towels

plus for some reason i keep hosting dinner parties. i dont know whats wrong with me, but i feel like the holidays are just going to push the insanity into over drive!
i mean just thinking of all the cookies i need to bake makes me gasp. this might be my last holiday at home and i really want to make the best of it.

have i mentioned how much i love making things?

plus: new mini diana!!! i really dont need you but must have you!!!

i loved that bitch

i think i might have just broken my co worker's heart when i told him our display artist might of thrown away the sound cable for the computer. how will he watch youtube during his breaks?!?!?!

i really do have a write up about seattle and how awesome and amazing it is and how greg and i are considering moving to the northwest because hot damn we loved it!!! but work computer is mean... maybe library computer will be nicer?

also my mom is putting my childhood dog to sleep. which is pretty awful. shes the best dog ever and totally won me over in becoming a dog person. Diamond is probably the most apathetic dog you will meet, rufio (my current dog) on the other hand would simply look at you and then move to another room to get further from your dry sobs. i honestly dont think i would have made it through high school without her constant attention to my feelings. plus we think Diamond might have gotten brain damage from chewing through so many electrical cords as a puppy. she also was the most bad ass dog on the block, not really a large dog she still thought she was ferocious enough to take on st. Bernards. dude, the bitch was crazy.

so Diamond i spill this forty for you, may you enjoy that big field in the sky. i'll always remember you as the runner awayer, the epileptic fit haver, the master escape artist, and the best fucking dog i have ever known. i love you girl.