this happens when all your friends are guys

talking with best friend about girls:

him: "So I had to make out with her to just to make sure it wasn't my fault. You know, that I hadn't lost my touch."
me: oh no it wasnt you, she's a really bad kisser.
him: "Yeah, okay! Wait..."
me: oh yeah, ive totally had her.


ahhh, when worlds collide...

i really need to have more female friends.

too many neighborhoods

"The lavender is very light and delicate, it's more like scented hot water." -magical tea shop guy
"isn't that what tea is?" -me thinking tea guy is a bitch.

sleepless

Seattle so far:







Lenin and Bruce Lee?!? apparently thumbs up at any landmark is the theme of this trip...

on Dune (the old school movie)

"Sting does have a very memorable-"
"COD PIECE!.... you werent going to say cod piece were you...?"
"I was going to say role, but I guess that works too."

photo shoot

i know its been over a month but heres some pictures from my wedding. ill upload more at sometime... and maybe some from outside or something...

im like way lazy and these are on my work computer so really who knows how long they'll last.









i dont know if you know this but im like real classy.

planes and trains

i know i know

i am a terrible blogger. but you really can't blame a person who doesn't have the Internet... or a computer. or a working tv, or mp3 player... or really any kind of recent technology...

anyway i'm taking a trip in a couple weeks and i was reviewing all the things i can't take on a plane. i found this list: HILARIOUS

who in there right mind thinks bringing a cattle prod onto a plane is going to be okay?

but if you scroll down just a little: THROWING STARS!

i want to meet those people trying to sneak throwing stars onto a plane. i mean what kind of damage are you really going to inflict? anyone familiar with Upright Citizen Brigade? probably not....

(kid tries to go on rampage at school by using throwing stars. just ends up more ridiculed and the shame of his ninja father)

comic gold!

best wedding ever

so yeah the wedding thing was cool and ill talk more when i have pictures to show for it.

what i really want to discuss is that i am apparently now very allergic to NyQuil. right after the wedding i wasn't feeling well which was due to massive exhaustion took some NyQuil to help me sleep the cold off and ended up almost having heart failure. okay not heart failure but i was dizzy throwing up all over the place and couldn't feel my face. it was way sweet. so i will never being doing that again.

unfortunately now every time i think of the food from the wedding i get super nauseated and which is no good when i still have all that food left in my fridge.

shit.

highlights: people actually ate the dozen jars of pickles i made.
i sang "be are guest" from beauty and the beast.
i didn't drink the sediment at the bottom of the bottle of home brew i was carrying around all night.
people did karaoke
someone drew a penis dinosaur in my guestbook!